What happens when you let your girlfriend dress you for a week

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A few weeks ago Bonnie and I decided we would pick each others’s outfits for a week and so I thought I might write about what happens when you let your girlfriend dress you, which is actually a lot more fun as soon as you accept your emasculated existence as a female accessory… But then again that was always going to happen.

Choosing things for us to do never seems to get boring. We tend to be pretty good at building each other up with the craziest ideas you could think of. Bonnie asked me this morning “could I trim some of your pubic hair and make a lock to put in my diary?”
“Sure,” I reply, half knowing she both wanted to see if she could freak me out, and also just because couples do some amazing and pretty weird things. Yet for us it kind of seems normal.

We couldn’t stop laughing when we read this article about 25 couples on the weird things they do when no-one’s looking. Hamstering is definitely on our list. But it can’t always be crazy sexual pretending your boyfriend’s penis is a water dripper while she scurries around the bed until she gets thirsty. Most days are not like that, but they are never remiss of some kind of fun.

For our weekly challenge we decided to dress each other. Outfits were chosen the night before according to a specific theme and then before we left for work we took a photo and annoyed all of our Facebook friends with posts requesting them to vote on who had the best outfit.

When you get the chance to dress your girlfriend it’s conflicting, because on one side you want to take full advantage and make her wear the most random outfits possible, but at the same time you want her to succeed in her professional workplace and feel as sexy as you know she is.

This is how our week turned out.

Day 1 – Blue Business Casual

Bonnie – 6 votes
Clyde – 6 votes


Conservative start. Didn’t want to blow the veto on the first day. Definite problems with the voting systems as most of my votes were due to my smile rather than the outfit, which technically shouldn’t count (also not fair since my smile isn’t featured here, but if you imagine a super big bright grin on a devilishly handsome man then you’ve got the right idea :P)
There were no prizes at this point. Though self hi-five for making Bonnie look good in crabs.

Day 2 – Nerdy Professor

Bonnie – 3
Clyde – 3


Draw again. A bit more creativity today and Bonnie was impressed with my restraint. Our target audience begins to lose focus. Best non-related comments included:
“my money for the week is on the cartographer”
“fashion is the real winner here”
Also, the fake glasses and suspenders, which were both relatively useless additions, got most of the votes. This led me to believe it doesn’t matter how functional something is, or if it’s real, as long as it looks good. Therefore Bonnie’s engagement ring will have a massive 2 carrot rock made of pure… cubic zirconia diamonds.

Day 3 – Into The Wild

Bonnie – 10
Clyde – 2


The fur vest got props, but massive majority 10 – 2 in favour of Bonnie. Which puts me nicely in the lead.

Day 4 – Gang$ta

Bonnie – 1
Clyde – 6


My favourite one, partly because Bonnie looked like she was ready to ride on the side of a Chicago cruiser with a cotton bag with $$ on the outside, and also because it reminded me of the R$CH warehouse party in 2015 when I found an amazing science enthusiast shirt for $10 with the words “[F]uck [Bi]tches [Ge]t [Mo]ney – Professor Notorius B.I.G”. Accessorizing was the big winner again. I took this one out, which makes it 1-1 at the end of day 4.

Day 5 – Date Night

Bonnie – 4
Clyde – 4


A draw again, but today it didn’t matter. Date night and 11 months with the wildest chick I’ve ever known. We started off rock-climbing, then out for a few bottles of wine for dinner, and finished with our own personal karaoke concert. The perfect way to celebrate, serenading each other with love ballads while getting all dreamy-eyed and drunk with the room service gin and tonics and the wine we smuggled in.

Day 6 – Play Day

Bonnie – 2
Clyde – 5


Saturday. The Cinderella T-Shirt took out first prize. Bonnie is winning 2-1 style points

Day 7 – Slacker Sunday

Bonnie -4
Clyde – 0


Equaliser 2-2 with 3 draws. Today we learned the difference between Hobo and Boho.

Day 8 – (Bonus Day) Queen’s Birthday Royals

Bonnie – 1
Clyde – 0
Draw – 5


Technically our week was finished, but we were having too much fun to stop. And it was the Queen’s Birthday, so we spent the last day pretending to be Royals. I got to meet my niece for the first time that night. My first picture with her is me in a bowtie. Pretty cool. The comments were for a draw, but one single vote for Bonnie gave me the edge. And as an official fashionista Bonnie gets to spoil me with something awesome in Hawaii for $50 or less. Her reflection of the week might be slightly different.

So what happens when you let your girlfriend dress you for a week? You get showered with kisses, dreamy looks, amazing blow-jobs and a very happy Bonnie. Apparently being a female accessory isn’t so bad after all.

-Clyde

P.S. We’re going to Hawaii tomorrow! xx

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