Moving in with your boyfriend (6 practical tips for instant fun)
So, you’re thinking about moving in with your boyfriend
But the idea of living together can seem like a real “Jesus Fucking Christ” moment and suddenly the reality of a serious relationship looms and thoughts go wild thinking about bloody tampons lying around the house, morning farts on the toilet, peeing in front of each other… it’s scary stuff, right? If you’re thinking about moving in with your boyfriend you might just be in that position. And for that I can say congratulations. Because honestly it is about the coolest thing in a relationship ever! This is what happened when Clyde and I moved in together after a bit over six months, and my checklist of ways to making moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend awesome fun.
The Big Decision
So you’re in a relationship. It’s going well. Reeaaally well. You have a lovely weekend together and… he asks you to move in. Right away you’re like “whoa whoa whoa” and your hormones just go nuts, right? You’re excited, but also think about your family and friend and how much you enjoy your house, your housemates… and your freedom. You freak out a little about what living together will mean, and possibly losing that freedom you really need. Also slightly worried about giving up random dates with him, the sleep-overs, the beautiful hellos and good byes. Worried about him listening to you fart in the morning, hungover in the morning after a big night out.
But you also love the idea of spending every second together. This exactly happened to Clyde and me. We had the best time hanging out but we had just been dating for 6 months when he asked me and I wasn’t ready to move in just yet.
Knowing when it’s the right time
He asked me a second time 4 months later. And then one day two months after he last asked me, I found a rat in my room in the middle of the night and thought to myself “Adios muchachos! It’s time to move on. This is a sign that I’m ready to live with the love of my life”. Something I’d never done before – living only with a male bf. So I told him the next night that I was ready to move in. And so he asked me a third time (so patient!) if I wanted to move in. And I said yes.
You’ve lived your life doing your thing. Now it’s time to merge socks and drink from the same milk container. How you’re going to do that? With these 10 fun steps of moving in.
Tip 1: Don’t Hesitate To Sell Anything
Make the move in super fun. In my case, I packed all my things in a day and moved out that night. Boom! If you’d like to make it less dramatic, tell your housemates/parents/landlord well in advance so they have time to find a new housemate/tenant. It also gives them time to adapt to the situation. Once that’s done, check with your spouse what s/he’s already got and what you really need to bring. Don’t be afraid to get rid of things. Doesn’t really make sense to have two mattresses (unless you’re planning for a comfy pillow fort in the living room or guests hanging out at yours every other night). Decide which couch gets sold, which bed is put into Mom’s cellar and which ugly laundry basket can be thrown out).
Sweet. You’re all set now. Start packing. This may take a while as you go through all the gadgets of living as a Bachelor/ette. You may not need that 50 pack of condoms anymore. You probably want to throw out the business card of that greasy guy that hit on you two years ago. So go ahead, throw out stuff that’s not needed any more. And then pack. Wrap up your life in a few cardboard boxes, steal your housemate’s underwear (by mistake!) and let your mind sink into the idea that you’ll live with this amazing person that you can theoretically have sex with every day of the week. It’s a bit of a mind fuck at first. I was quite overwhelmed the first few days to say the least. But I have since loved every second of it.
Tip 2: Get Down and Boogie in the Loungeroom
So you packed your bags and you’re ready to go. You’re not leaving on a jet plane but it’s a good bye to everything you’ve known so far and you’re super excited to see where this journey leads you. This is the day of moving in with your boyfriend. Have everything ready for take-off, recruit your muscliest mates (or hire movers), promise them pizza, wear proper moving clothes and shoes. Of course your bf/gf is going to be there for you, too. Moving is always a struggle, but hey, how good is the reward? As soon as the last piece of furniture is in the new house of love, open the bubbly. Time to celebrate! You made it! Time to put on your favourite tunes and dance around the packed boxes.
Tip 3: Get The Hive Mind
Moving in with your boyfriend and unpacking can be fun – or stressful. Your choice. Decide for yourself to make it fun. And quick. Remember that it is now both of your spaces and if he expects to see you walking around in your underwear, or no underwear, then let him know that it’s your shared space. It’s like a hive, and you’re the Queen Bee. Haha. Kidding. But make sure you’ve got somewhere for everything so you feel like it’s your space as well. And the sooner the better – no one likes living around boxes for months. Have your cups move in with his/hers. Find new spaces and secret hiding places. Make room for each other. When I asked Clyde where my clothes were supposed to go, he said “right here” pointing at his full wardrobe. Seconds later Clyde threw all of the clothes out of the wardrobe that he hadn’t worn in six months. Tada! Half empty. And suddenly all my stuff found a home.
Tip 4: Time to show your habits
You’re routine’s not my routine. He leaves up the toilet seat every time he goes to pee. So what. You leave your hairbrush lying around all the time, too. Forgive the other one for their habits. They’re just human too, you know? Have a laugh at the other person being OCD. Or mega messy. If there’s something you really can’t stand, say it right then and there. Be nice. Don’t let it become a thing but also don’t forget to say it. How would you know that he finds your hair gross when he pulls it out of the bathroom sink if he didn’t tell you? Exactly. So yeah, I voted for being in charge of the bathroom. Cause my hair seems to just love hanging out there. By the hundreds. You’re going to come up-close and personal with every way your body works. To this all I can say is “shit happens” and just laugh about it.
Tip 5: Be my houseman
I really hate housework. It’s just so unfun for me. Which is probably why the idea of having a maid seems like heaven. We have this thing where we call our place “The Castle” when it’s beautiful and tidy and “The Dungeon” when it’s super messy and dirty. When you move in together, you’ve got to make it work. We’ve been good about dividing housework, which is great.
Once you’ve moved in talk about what you enjoy doing in the house and what you really dislike. I clean the bathroom once a week. I like it tidy. Also, my own hair doesn’t gross me out as much. Clyde’s in charge of taking out the trash. Makes me vom a little just thinking about it. I’m so grateful he does it! Don’t let housework things get out of control, but at the same time don’t be afraid to let things get messy either. Sometimes when our place is super messy it shows we’ve been having heaps more fun.
Tip 6: Mastering the Every Day Groove
When you live together, you basically hang out 24/7 when you’re not working or seeing friends or out and about. So you better make it the best time ever, right? A lot of couples seem to forget. They start annoying each other, get frustrated. It’s important to realise how amazing it is to live together. To be realistic and see that you’re two different people who need to find a balance of every day life together. Clyde and I have the most incredible moments in the morning when we wake up and start the day yawning “Good morning, handsome”, “Good morning, beautiful” at each other. With morning breath, crazy hair and sweaty armpits. It’s the best. It makes me feel like a goddess, no kidding. Embrace that kind stuff, even when it feels kind of corny and
So now that you’re ready to move in, do it! Have the best time. You rock, you two love beasts!