5 tips for Happy Honest Relationships – Diablog 1


Bonnie and I love writing together. We have recently started writing these Diablogs using Google Docs to simultaneously write on different topics. This is our first Diablog on happy honest relationships sharing some embarrassing secrets since we’ve moved in together.

Happy Honest Relationships Tip #1 – Embrace the juices

Bonnie doesn’t like leaving her hair all over the bathroom. She molts, which is why she insists on cleaning the bathroom to hide the cables strewn in every corner and flush them down the toilet. It makes me laugh that she gets really worried about her body waste but I don’t mind. I embrace it all. I think you have to embrace these body things if you want to really enjoy each other.

So number one tip on happy honest relationships is “Embrace the others body things?” Haha. Good. Because there is going to be a lot of it. Everywhere. Like hair in the sink, hair in your food, hair on your pubes. Farting in bed, really smelly poos (yes, very pretty girls do them too). You’d be surprised; embrace what comes out of each others bodies. Even though that sounds gross. I think you’re still the most handsome, sexy man ever after you’ve come out of the bathroom where you’ve been hanging out for the last 30 minutes leaving it after multiple flushes and coming out with the most satisfied face. Don’t think I don’t know… Multiple flushes are just common courtesy, without them Mr Hanky will constantly be hanging around.

And then there’s the whole being weird-ed out by your own body. Pimples that grow in weird places, hair that grows in weird places… it’s beautiful to be able to share that. Bodies are weird things no matter how you look at it. I enjoy picking Bonnie’s pimples, plucking her eyebrows and generally picking at things. I sometimes need to be reminded that her body is not actually my body and I can’t just go hammers on something on her forehead and say “it’s going to come out, I just need to squeeze a little harder.”

We’ve gone a bit far recently. I’ve let Clyde clip my toes (weird) and pluck my eyebrows (which he does surprisingly well!), while he’s let me pluck and shave back hairs, and I’m epilating my legs in front of him (with an epilator he originally bought for himself, but stopped using once he realised how much it hurts).

Happy Honest Relationships Tip #2 – Oral sex is amazing

Understanding how each other’s bodies functions is especially important when it comes to sex. Great sex is invariably juicy, sweaty and moist. It brings you face to face with your own insecurities and allows you to find more about every square inch of your partner. This can be confronting, especially when there is more liquid than you bargained for. So the more comfortable you can be with your partner, the better things are.

This is especially important when it comes to oral sex. For instance I peed in Bonnie’s mouth by accident recently when I thought I was cumming. I was more freaked out than her. Apparently I tasted like an average version of the white wine we had been drinking. Bonnie isn’t into golden showers, but she loooooves sex. And honestly, I always want to satisfy her as much as I can.

I do love oral sex – any sex really and living together, you can finally get to dive into each other’s bodies fully. We’ve literally had sex in every room in our apartment. On the kitchen table, standing in the kitchen, on the living room bench, on the sofa, standing against the wall, on the floor, in bed, next to the bed, in the shower. (keep in mind it is a very small apartment). We’ve experimented a lot with each other’s bodies and what I love the most is how comfortable we feel naked with each other. I’ve seen every part of Clyde and I just love that he lets me explore his body the way I do.

It can be psychologically stressful when you want to keep up with all the previous performances. Sometimes my body just doesn’t want to play ball, and other times we could have
sex 5-6 times over a weekend. It’s important to remember to let all those fears behind you. If the priority you have is to satisfy the other person then I think you’re in for some good fun. And if things get awkward a lot of the time you can recover, and if not, have a laugh about it and go again later on.

Happy Honest Relationships Tip #3 – Loving your own body

Before Bonnie I was never this comfortable naked with another person. I mean, obviously I had to get naked and there was never a ‘nevernude’ situation, but at the same time I never really stood naked for long periods of time and explored the other person’s body. And I still tell her I’m getting fat all the time, and I know that I’m not getting that fat, maybe just a little ‘loose’ and oversharing my internal dialogue.

That’s what all couples always fear – getting ‘too loose’, feeling ‘too comfortable’. Hanging out in slacks, not washing your hair, not shaving your legs, putting on weight. In past relationships I’ve always tried to contain myself, be the perfect woman. I thought, I had to be super skinny, cover up all my faults with make-up, put on excessive amounts of deodorant… but with you I feel like I can show who I really am, embracing all of it.

I think that’s a valuable lesson to learn and for other couples to work on, too. I feel so comfortable in my own body and I think you’re the most gorgeous man in the world. So I think it’s important to know that it’s beautiful to be able to be entirely open up to your partner – but make sure you still always feel beautiful in your own skin.

Which brings us to tip #4

Happy Honest Relationships Tip #4 – Be active together.

This doesn’t just count for sex, but also for general sportyness. Living together does make you want to slack off a lot. You just enjoy each other’s company so much that hanging on the couch and watching NetFlix sounds very appealing (we don’t have NetFlix, we rent from this awesome video store down the street). It’s easy to do, which is why you need to make sure healthy eating and fitness are an important part of your life together.

An active lifestyle is super important – when you’re in a relationship especially. Eating the right food, being sporty and healthy together. Your body is your temple. And with you, I find it beautiful to think that our own and each other’s bodies are our temple that we really care for. I love that we go to the gym together. It makes me feel fabulous and seeing you being ultra fit motivates me and makes me want to push my body – without hurting it. Sport – just like sex – sets endorphins in your body free and make you feel incredibly happy.

Happy Honest Relationships Tip #5 Morning Rituals

“Good morning, handsome”
“Good morning, beautiful”
“Have the most amazing day today.”
I love the way we compliment each other in the morning. The only thing more important than trying to get more than enough sleep is starting off each day complimenting each other. No matter how crazy your hair is or how much Panda Eye mascara and eyeliner you’ve got going on, I’ll still tell you I love you more than French Fries. It’s an absolute incredible way to start the day. It makes me feel really great first thing when I wake up. And that feeling just accompanies me throughout the day.


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